MacBook Air

My 5 month old MacBook Air died on me today! It would not boot up and was bleeping at me. The chap at the shop believes that it's a hardware problem, so I had to leave it with him to replace whatever bits need replacing, thank god it's still under warranty. This is the second time it's been in for repairs, the last time it was in early June to replace the screen. My jinx with electronic equipment strikes again!!!

MAHA Bowling Sunday, 27th July 2008

After my personal best in the practise round to this Tournament, what would you expect... a personal low of course!! I did not break a hundred in any one of the 3 frames I bowled, with the lowest score of 63. What a let down. I reckon it was the golf on Friday which cause me to lose my touch...Yeah right!!!

Batman - The Dark Knight

I've just got back from watching Batman- The Dark Knight; In fact, if you are going to the cinema only once this year, this is the film you should watch! Yes it was a great movie.

First of all, it's a long flim. Approximately 2 and a half hours as a matter of fact. This I did not appreciate when I went in to see it, so... since it was 6.30pm; I thought I'll bring a hotdog and a drink as it was close to dinner time. BAD IDEA!

Because after an hour and a half, when most movies would have ended, I needed to go to the loo. As the film was building to it's conclusion, yours truly had to hold on. Not much fun, I'll have to tell you. Anyway, it has worth hanging on.

If you had watch the first film, "Batman Begins", "The Dark Knight" has very much the same dark undercurrents. Absolutely no humour in it whatsoever, unlike the earlier films, remember Arnie as Mr. Freeze?

Obviously, one cannot review this film without mentioning Heath Ledger as the Jocker. With so much written about about how brillantly he played the part, one could not help wondering if all the adulation was because the chap is dead. All I can say is, what a way to go out. Leave them baying for more I say. It was an amazing performance. If you thought Jack Nicholson's Joker was good....though a little too manic and comic for me, Heath's Joker lay some where between Jack's manic Joker and Antony Hopkin's Hannibal Lecter. Actually just imagine Hannibal Lecter playing the Joker and you'll get the idea.

As for all the big action bits, they were excellent, however although they were large, loud and spectacular, they did not detract fom the plot or the darkness of the film. This was a "film noir" done Hollywood style.

Loved it! Loved it! Loved it!

Gordon Ramsay's a Bully!!!!

I'm just watching the "F Word" on AFC and I couldn't help noticing that Gordon Ramsay's your classical bully. In his kitchen where he has 3 young and impressionable girls, he is rude and sarcastic. However when he cooked at the home of Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson he was as meek as a lamb. I reckon he was intimidated by Jeremy who as everyone knows is as acerbic as they come. Great fun to watch!:-)

South China Tour Day III Part II

After the "Stone Chamber Buildings" it was back on the mini-bus and an hours drive to the Kaiping Li Yuan Garden.

Owned by a rich trader who made his money in America until the Communist revolution. Once again the buildings and formal gardens has a distinct Sino-Wastern flavour, with the influence of fung-sui casting a major influence on the layout of the place.

Residential Buildings in the Li Yuan Gardens. Notice the 4 houses for each of the 4 wives.

Interior of Main House. 

Cannel with Koi

Next stop was the really a filler on this trip; it was a stop over at the "Banyan Islands- Bird Paradise"; basically a mangrove swamp with lots of estuary birds roosting in it.

Bird Paradise Boat

Bird Paradise Mangrove Swamp

 

South China Tour Day III Part I

Day III began with Breakfast at the White Swan. Having missed out on the Parma Ham the first morning, I literally pigged out on the ham and smoked Salmon. We all decided that since we ate so much in the last few days, we would skip lunch this afternoon. But just in case some of us needed a filler, Raven, our tour co-ordinator decided to sneak a few tubs of yoghurt into that huge bag of hers. 

Breakfast with Yew Pun and Doreen, if you look close enough, you can seen the heap of smoked salmon on my plate.

Today, we are off to Jiangman, stopping by Kaiping and a few tourist sites. So after checking out of the hotel, we were all loaded into the mini-bus for what proved to be a long journey in the rain. Part of the journey was through an unpaved road which was disintegrating badly (known locally as the Massage Road), so much so that we were terrified that the mini-bus would get stuck. Not a great prospect, as it was really bucketing it down. Thank God it didn't and we made it to the "Stone Chamber Buildings". As it was still bucketing it down, we stayed in the mini-van until the rain eased off and umbrellas were bought from a budding entrepreneur.

Restored and rehabilitated, this site is registered in UNESCO's heritage list. This part of the world went through a period of turmoil, where because of desire of Western traders to establish a foothold in China, the rule of law was disrupted and anarchy ruled. Many of the homes built during this time were thus mini fortresses. Because of the strong influence of the West during this time, some of the building designs and especially the design of the furniture was Sino-Western. Much to my chagrin, as I have much nicer examples in my flat. Frankly, if you were looking for Sino-Western influence, there are much better examples in Malacca and Penang. However of much greater interest, is the defensive features built into the homes due to the background of banditry during the turn of the 19th to 20th centuries. 

  

The UNESCO listed "Stone Chamber Buildings"                                                                                            

Reinforced Window Design to ward off bandits

To be cotinued....

Briefly....

A wonderful quote I picked up from the BBC Sport website.

"Poulter punches the air and screams like a man who has just rolled over to discover he spent the night with Jessica Alba."
BBC Sport's Mark Orlovac at Royal Birkdale.
(Alex, Hong Kong)
(In the interests of transparency, BBC Sport would like to point out that Mark Orlovac has never spent the night with Jessica Alba - Ed)

Celta Certificate

Finally, after a 7 month wait, I've received my CELTA Certificate from Cambridge. I'm now officially certified to teach English!!! Phew... it was 2 months of hard work.

Tiling Works II

Finally, the tiling works are now complete. I decided to use mosaic to give the bathrooms a more contemporary feel. So what do you think?

Baby GTi

I want one of these!!!

A VW Polo GTi.

People First

During our discussions of the current economic climate, especially with the sharp increase of commodity, fuel and food prices, one subject that crops up from the sofa these days is this "People First" value. Apparently a few of the Jim's sofa caucus is consciously practicing these values, even in their business dealings.

In this day and age where most businesses are being forced to practice a "Profit First" policy, the "People First" policy is certainly admirable. I personally believe that many of  us have been lucky enough to have reached a stage in our lives where we are comfortable with were we are and have the luxury to practice these "People First" policies. Long may this last!   

Personal Best

In preparation for the Malacca Association of Hotels (MAHA) bowling tournament this coming Sunday, our hotel, Straits Meridian had a staff warm-up bowling practice, at Golden Bowl, Mahkota Parade last night. The best score of the night was my 137 which is also my personal best!!! Yeh!!! 

Chinese Highways

An observation about the highways in China is that they are truly Inter-city highways, in that they literally connect up the cities, city center to city centre (well almost) unlike highways/motorways in other countries, where the highways will travel through the vicinity of the city/town where a link road then links you into the city. Hence the need for many elevated roads in Chinese cities. 

New Pics

I've managed to get the Sith Lord's pictures of our trip of South China on Saturday night. Having reviewed them,(including the one of me with the carps featured in the title of this blog) they seem much better then mine.

Why is this, I asked myself. It suddenly occurred to  me that they are not much better then my pictures, it's just that they are more interesting, because I'm in them!!!!

Who says I don't have an ego??!!!

South China Trip - Day II part 3

After lunch at an upmarket hawker centre attached to a 5 star hotel, we then moved on to the Qinghui Garden which used to be the mansion of Huang Shijun, the head bureaucrat of the fiefdom. It was definitely the most spectacularly artistic of all grand buildings we visited on this trip. There were so many photo opportunities that one could easily spend several days there. Unfortunately my camera was running out of juice (and I did not pack a charger; silly boy) so I did not take as many photographs as I wanted. The Sith Lord has the best photographs which I hope he will share with the rest of us, including a great shot of me by a carp pond.

After the Gardens, we then went for dinner at a seafood restaurant; one where the all the seafood is live and displayed in tanks. There was a wedding dinner at this restaurant, however due to our hunger for more boar, we managed to hijack a roast piglet. (actually it was more of a pig then a piglet)

After dinner, it was back to the hotel and a good night's sleep.

Filial Duty

Yesterday, Friday the 18th of July we brought the Seet family "Abu" (ashes) back to the 2nd floor of the shoplot above Ole Sayang to revive the Taoist tradition of the Ancestral Home. The Ashes were placed in Cheng Hoon Teng Temple over the last 10 years or so. Well it's back home now. 

South China Trip - Day II part 2

After Baiyun Mountain, we went to Foshan Ancestral Temple and the Wong Fei Huang Memorial Hall in Foshan. Wong Fei Huang was a Kung-Fu Si-Fu in the middle of the 20th Century, who has been immortalised in many films. From the information I gained at the Memorial Hall, I suspect that he really only became famous after his death, when his forth wife expended his martial arts school into Hong Kong and America. 

Interestingly, there was no mention of his three other wives, and the only reason we knew of their existence is by inference.  There was also no mention of a 13th aunt. She was probably made up as a love interest for the films. 

Me and Doreen - reenacting a Wong Fei Huang scene

After brushing up on our Kung- Fu skills, it was time for lunch!! Even though it was just after 2pm, we had great trouble finding a place opened for lunch. Apparently the Chinese have their lunch very early. It was then I realised that despite the fact that the whole of China is in one time zone; the same one as Malaysia; their body clocks are set in a time zone that is further east then we Malaysians. Another fact to be filed away under the life experience folder. (May need to upgrade that hard drive soon; it's getting a little cluttered.) 

South China Trip - Day II

Day II started with the international buffet at the "White Swan", which proved to be a refuge to the deluge of Cantonese food for the rest of the day. Needless to say, the smoked salmon offered was gladly devoured. I discovered only too late that there was parma ham on offer; never mind, there's always tomorrow.Then it was off to Baiyun Mountain which was really a recreational park within Guangzhau. It was a cable car trip up the mountain where we were spun the tale of the famous pork which was preserved by the pure mountain stream water. We obviously needed to taste this as it was on sale at the top of the mountain! It turned out to be cold pork pieces pickled in vinegar. 

Chui Kim enjoying the Cold Pork

In the park, we also came across groups of people engaging in a spot of communal singing and dancing. Signs that we are in a country where space and privacy are a premium.

to be continued....

 

Tiling Works

Currently, I'm sitting at home overseeing the tilers hacking my bathrooms to bits. All this because I needed to change my bath mixers!! 

Kids Birthday Party

I went to a kiddie's birthday party this weekend. It must have been the first one I've attended for many, many years.

However to help the Sith Lord stay awake whilst barbequing and also the lure of 18 year old whisky, was too much to resist.

So Happy Birthday Yen Yen!! 

Sunday's Cinematic Marathon

To celebrate the opening of Golden Screen Cinema's new 10 screen cineplex in Dataran Pahlawan, I decided to go on a cinematic marathon today.

Starting at 12.20pm, I went over to watch Wanted.
It was a throughly enjoyable all-action film, lots of whizz bang action very reminiscent of a John Woo movie. You know shooting bullets out of the air etc.
Lots of great action, great stunts but not much of a plot.

The highlight was Angelina Jolie who was HOT! HOT! HOT!
The let-down was James McAvoy who has the same annoying and whinging characteristics of Nicholas Cage.

Next up at 2.55 pm, after lunch was Hancock.

Starring Will Smith as a disfunctional individual with super-powers. Once again it was a film with lots of action, however it also has a slight twist in the plot to keep things interesting. (notice I only said a slight twist) 

After a toilet and coffee break, it was then the last film of the day; Hellboy 2 at 5.40pm.

Yet another all action movie; probably the most spectacular of the three films. Some of the scenes were masterpieces of CGI. I'll be waiting for Hellboy 3! There was a very funny scene involving Barry Malinow's "I can't smile without you".

Hell it was a fun day. Must do it again soon. Anyone want to join me? I'll be seated in my favorite seat, 2 rows from the front of the screen. 

Amnesty international may investigate goings on at Manchester United!!

One of the funniest articles which I've read for some time!

From the ManUtd.com forum:

"Following recent reports of slavery at Manchester United, it is has been hoped that amnesty international will perform a full enquiry of these accusations. The working conditions at old trafford in particular are thought to worry amnesty, shocking revelations may include:

* last season players forced to lift heavy objects above head height (namely trophies) on many occasions; Amnesty have announced that the same claim was levelled at Liverpoo football club, but was found to be entirely untrue and a reprensentative from Liverpoo said " Its been so long since we won any trophies i doubt we'd know what to do with them". Some players may transfer to spanish clubs to free themselves from this problem.

*wages being paid in £50 notes instead of £20 notes. in one case a player only earning £120,000 a week, was forced to push for a rise to £150,000 per week so that he can still have his weekly swim in his money. The same player may seek a transfer as he considers Euros much bulkier and easier to swin in.

*Signing a contract and having to stick to it.

* The pitch at Old Trafford being particularly uncomfortable. One player who spends a lot of his time lying on the pitch has resorted to banging the ground in order to soften it up or crying, both of which he is very good at.

* In one extreme case a player was forced to listen to over 75,000 people sing his name over a period of 9 months!!!! He appealed to be allowed to wear ear protectors, but his requests were denied, the player now feels that his only option is to move to Real Madrid where they wave white hankerchiefs to show their support!!



These shocking revalations need to be investigated!! if any manchester united fan reading this would like me to relay any shocking reports that they have heard about the goings on at Old Trafford or would like to comment on the ongoing travesty please reply



Breaking News

A local university has declared it may change the name of its student union hall from the mandela hall to the cristianoronaldo hall, a statement said " Nelson was a symbol for freedom for a generation, now we hope that Ronaldo is granted his freedom as well from the great oppression that has befallen him" the students has confirmed that the freecristianoronaldo marches will begin in freshers week next year and that the proclaimers have been approached to sing the "FREE CRISTIANORONALDO" song.







Hopefully this can bring a smile to peoples faces, we haven't had much to smile about, its all a bit of fun so i hope the mods leave it up for while or even contribute, thanks"

Horticulture in Malacca

Going back to the news of Malacca's inclusion in UNESCO's  heritage and cultural listing, I am reminded of a famous anecdote of Dorothy Parker; a famous American wit of the 1920's and '30s; who, when asked to come up with a sentence containing the word horticulture said: "You can lead a horticulture (whore to culture), but you can't make her think". 'Nuff said.   

International Treasures

Penang and Malacca are officially international heritage treasures

For this is were we shall go to for our pleasures

Having recently returned from Penang

And am living in Malacca

It is not that I do not appreciate our heritage

It's just... I don't want to be told that I'm of that vintage!

The Value of Pi

Following on from my last posting;

I wonder if Anwar appreciates the irony of the situation; he being highly educated and obviously a appreciator of all things Grecian (Greek); that no one has managed to fully define the actual value of the Greek constant Pi. 

Look where his PI got him!! 

Lavatorial Humour

Mr Bath-plug sent me the following email:

Khim,

See if u can write better poems than these!!!!!!!!!

KBT




Subject: Fwd: Poems found in toilets




POEMS FOUND IN TOILETS


THE "FUTURE" IS IN YOUR HAND , HOLD IT GENTLY"

Excellent poems by not so famous poets... found on toilet doors and walls.......

A budding poet trying his best...
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets.
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.


There are also people who come in for a different purpose...
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come
here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space.......
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement.
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please

On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

Apparently, other parts of the bath-room has caught his attention.

So rising to his request

I shall try my best

About thoughts we all have when we are on the throne

Which I hope will not result in too many groans.

So here goes....

As I sit here reading my newspaper

About the accusation and his plight

I certainly hope he used a rubber during the caper

Or it will be Najib's delight

And Anwar would have to enjoy even more Turkish delight

Huh???!? 

Where's the shit!.... I hear you ask.

Well it's just that some are us are more cerebral and not so vulgar

We skipped through all the shit 

And went straight to the bugger!!

Unesco Listing

Woke up this morning to the news that UNESCO has acquiesced to the government's request to have both Penang and Malacca listed as world heritage site! Yipee!!! That's a piece of good news.

I just hope that this will force the Malacca state government from further degrading Malacca's heritage to a stage where we may eventually obtain Disney's Heritage Status!

Well at least it's good for business.

Portmenteau Word

I was searching the web for "Rockapella" the other day, to find that it's a "Portmenteau Word". i.e. It's a word formed by the linguistic blend of two or more distinct words and combining their meanings.
You may read further on the subject by checking out this link at wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portmanteau

Some examples of Portmenteau Words or Frankenwords are:

Brunch: Breakfast and Lunch
Trunch: Tea and Lunch
Bragellina: Brad and Angellina
Scrummy: Scrumptious and Yummy
Don't: Do not

Just thought that some of you may find that interesting, it certainly tweaked my interest. But then again I'm a geek!!!

Brief Thoughts

It must have been the easiest predictions of the year, the two single finals at Wimbledon, the two winners are to be a lady called Williams and a boy named R.

Chinese Sign-boards Revisited

Thanks Jackie for the T-shirt and the book on chinese sign-boards.

Obviously you've been reading this blog. Nice to know that these musings are not in vain.

My favorite sign from the book is a rereading of one I posted earlier:

Disfigured Person Toilet instead of Disabled Toilet.... which, thinking about makes better sense then Disabled Toilet; doesn't that mean that the toilet is not working??? Hmm...Maybe the chinese are on to something here. 

Penang (July 2008)

After the Man United dinner, it was off to Penang to catch up with the other Robson, Kingsley, an old friend who was at Equatorial Hotel, Malacca; who is now the General Manager of the Dorsett Hotel in Georgetown, Penang.

The funny thing about visiting Penang for a 

Malaccan is the similarities one finds with Malacca. 

The colonial buildings are similar, although there are many more in Penang; the pictures of the new Chief Minister, Lim Guan Eng is disconcerting as he used to drink at the same pub we frequent in Malacca; the Nyonya Restaurants; and taking the cake must be Restoran Subiddah, the Nasi Kandar restaurant which has branches in Malacca as well!!

Kingsley put me up in an enormous suite, which was very, very nice, however going to the loo in the middle of the night (especially after a night out drinking) was especially precarious, as I had to cross a large room and traverse a walk-in wardrobe, before getting to the loo!      Komtar, the tallest building in Penang, viewed from my room's balcony.

 Sheik, Kingsley and me after a chinese dinner at Tshunami Village

The worst part of this journey was the 7 hour drive back to Malacca, next time it's a 50 min Firefly flight from Subang airport!!

Bryan Robson Comes Calling

Bryan Robson and a fan

As Straits Meridian sponsored some lucky draw prizes, I was invited to the Manchester United Supporters Club (Malaysia) Annual Dinner on Sunday the 29th of June 2008, held at the Concorde Hotel, KL.

Highlight of the evening was a brief visit by "Captain Marvel" Bryan Robson now officially an ambassador for Manchester United.  

It is worth noting that the first request by Bryan was a beer, and also the beer belly he has acquired since his playing days. 

  

The Grange

After a little hiatus in Penang (report to follow), July began with a bang.

We decided on a pot-luck party at "Casa Khim" (my flat lah!) last night based on the main dish of Chillie Con Carne.

The "Sith Lord" then decided to break out his treasure trove of wines, starting with a 2004  Torbreck "Woodcutter Semillion", followed by a 1997 Grange!

"With CHILLIE CON CARNE!!!" I hear you shout.

Well we are a little more sane then that. The two wines; with cheese; became the entre. And a splendid entre it was too. 

After that everything else was down hill. Although the other courses were palatable, (by the way, Chillie Con Carne should never be cooked with low fat minced beef, it becomes almost gritty, I'll have to mix it with some minced pork or chopped streaky bacon next time) nothing could compare with the almost sexual noises coming from the everyone who drank the Grange. 

The Sith Lord with a look of pure satisfaction enjoying THE GRANGE 

A nice beginning to July.