A Red Conspiracy II

Man. Utd. has returned to winning ways. Is this because they were playing at home, or that they were playing against a weaker team? Or is this because they were playing in red!!!!
On the evidence of the phantom penalty, I would suggest that it's because of the home strip.

Ops Sikap ala Marmite

Malacca, Today: In the 22 days since Ops Sikap was launched the daily "accident" rate has been declining, according to Chief Inspector Salve of Marmite.

"You know ah..... when we first started this operasi, the "accident" rates were very high. The ones involving puddles were in multiples of three, while the more solid ones were occurring daily."

"Sekarang, "puddle accidents" average about one a day, with "solid accidents" almost eliminated. Semua dah kurang dah!"

Yesterday, due to the "balik kampung" weekend and the subsequent increase in traffic volume, there were an accident of each type. "What to do... you know lah....weekend drivers lah!"

"We hope that as the driver of the dump truck matures, all accidents will soon be a thing of the past."

Briefly

It suddenly struck me that the name; United Malays National Organisation (UMNO) is actually in English. Isn't this a little strange??

Doggy Vocabulary

With the ongoing puppy training, I have discovered that I've had to adapt standard English for Marmite. For ease of understanding for a dog, I've decided to keep the command words to a minimum and to one syllable.

Below are the new definitions for the following words.

No: don't do that, leave, that's bad and everything that has negative connotations

Bone: Anything that is allowed to be chewed

MacBook Air III

My MBA is showing signs of breaking down again. 

The complaint I had about a month ago, where the logic board was replaced has shown up again. 

Having made a complaint directly to Apple's Care-line they have agreed to replace my computer with a new one. 

Oops... wrong Lemmon, meant the one with one "m". Sorry Jack.

Great, I can now get rid of this lemon!!   

Are You More Anal Then An English Teacher?

The "Sage on the Sofa" questioned my use of the expression "complete lack of" in an SMS. His contention was that if lack means "an absence of"; then "complete lack off" would be a reiteration and the adjective "complete" would be redundant. However upon checking a dictionary, he was loathed to discover that the definition of "lack" is rather imprecise, and could actually mean an absence of; or a deficiency of. 

Oh ....... the pain that one gets for offering to host a booze up!!!(the purpose of sending the offending SMS)

But ........ chalk another one up for the English Teachers!!! Yeah!!! ;-))

A Red Conspiracy

After the debacle of a steward's enquiry at the Belgium Grand Prix, I've begun to see many a conspiracy in favor of teams in red.

Case in point, Liverpool's win over Man. Utd. The home team kitted out in red won.

To top this off, Toro Rosso (Red Bull) won the Italian Grand Prix on Sunday.

 Was there a more unlikely winner??? Not unless you're a red team.

Marmite - Slave Training

Hello everyone I thought I'll update you on the training of my Slave.

Training began as soon as he got into his home, which is now mine!!! To prove the point I immediately left my mark on his Persian carpet. He looked upset but he shall soon get used to this routine of me leaving my mark and him cleaning up after me.

In the morning, training begins at about 7.30; although I woke him up at 7.20 this morning, just to add some variety to the training schedule; when I initiate my wake up call by yapping. My Slave then cooks and feeds me breakfast. Then he takes me down for my 20 minute morning walk in the car park, were I conduct my morning toilet. Then it's back into the flat when my Slave cleans out my abode, making sure I get clean newspaper sheets and in-room beverage. Then it's slave's turn to clean himself and I get to catch up on my beauty sleep whilst he's doing this.

After he has cleaned himself, he then makes his own breakfast and I roam the flat inspecting and ensuring that it's up to my liking. If there is something I object to, I shall mark the spot, forcing Slave to clean up after me. This I do several times to ensure that he is on his toes.

Then Slave takes me to my daytime companion, that Shi Tzu named Max, who is a bit of a dandy with all his hair and confiture. However he's good fun as we are able to run around and wrestle with each other 'till our hearts content.  

At approximately 5 pm, Slave then picks me up to send me home for my evening walk and dinner.

After another inspection of the flat, Slave then ensures that my beverage is changed and clean; my bedding is turned down and my hair is brushed before I retire for the day.

Well that's all for now, I shall now have to retire for my morning nap. I shall post further updates as and when I feel like it. 

Ta ta. 

Marmite

Hi I'm Marmite. I'm no more then 6 weeks old and I have a new owner who I first met at 3pm, Sunday the 7th of September 2008. He immediately took me home after meeting me for 5 minutes. He's soo.... easy. I reckon he's going to spoil me rotten. 

Greatest Shot in Tennis?

I'm currently watching the replay of the Federer vs Djorkovic semi-final and have seen an extraordinary shot made by Roger in the 3rd set.

After Novak slams an overhead down, Roger, then hits an overhead lob; (yes.... an overhead lob!!! i.e. a lob using a service motion) over a perfectly positioned Novak at the net.

Absolutely incredible.

Full Circle

I've just read Gxdrax's comment on my post "Of Spades and Shovels" and how from Spades, led to shovels then to the "Frankenword", "Spoontula". Carrying the association theme further, Spoontula rhymes with Dracula, which then leads to Bram Stoker (the author of Dracula). Now doesn't a stocker of a fire also feed the fire by shoveling coal into it?

 

Friends

I've been watching a few reruns of Friends, I've forgotten how funny the series was. I'm particularly taken by the character Phoebe; she's much funnier in the early seasons then in the later ones. In the later seasons, she was just silly.

Ah.... memories.

Of Spades and Shovels

With all the discussion at Jim's regarding my reply to Ser Heng's comment regarding Spades and Shovels, I reckon the comment deserves it's own post. So I've copied the reply below.

"Further to the gxdrax's (the sage on the sofa) comment regarding calling a shovel a spade; I wouldn't normally disagree with our hardware man; however, from the English teacher's point of view; there is certainly a difference; as one would not spade bull-shit, but one can certainly shovel it in spades!!!

Grammatically, a spade is normally only used as a noun, however, a shovel is commonly used both a noun and a verb.

If however, you insist on using "to spade" as a verb, it actually means to dig up or to cut up. To shovel would mean to move or throw around

So technically there will be a difference in the shape of a spade and a shovel; the blade of a spade would be straight with a sharper end, whilst a shovel's blade would be a little more cupped."

Ah.... the things we talk about when the whisky flows.

US Pizza Rant

How difficult can it be to take an order over the phone, get an address down and deliver a pizza, 5 minutes down the road?? Well if you were a Bangladeshi, with very limited English and absolutely no knowledge of Malay, it is absolutely impossible!!!

Which idiot of a manger put this guy in charge of taking delivery orders!!!

This saga began at 7.30 pm tonight when I decided to order a pizza in as I had only taken the mince beef out of the freezer, and it had not thawed. So I picked up the phone to order in some pizza instead. Big mistake!! This Bangladeshi picked up the phone, couldn't understand the order, handed the phone over to a Malay chap who had no problem taking down the order..... So I thought!

Fast forward to 9 pm, still no pizza!!! So I called them up to enquire. The Malay chap answers the phone; I asked about the status of the delivery; he hands the phone to the Bangladeshi!!!! who says, we did not deliver as we do not have your telephone number!!! BUT I know for a fact that they have caller ID!!!!! However he promises to proceed with the order and I continue waiting.

20 minutes later, still no pizza. I call back, Malay chap answers the phone, hands the phone to the Bangladeshi who says  that they still have not got my number; I gave it to him; ask him how long they will take to deliver the pizza; he tells me that they have to prepare it first, then...... HOLD ON, did he say prepare it first?? You mean that's it's still not made yet???!!! No sir. Well CANCEL the order then.

So I now go and prepare some Bolognese sauce, with the mince which is now of course thawed.

30 minutes later... guess what!!! The wretched pizza turns up!!! BUGG OFF!!!

Uughh.... what can I say???

  

Max

Meet Max, a male Shi Tzu who is  mum's birthday present.

You can tell he's going to be spoilt as his peripherals cost almost as much as him! 

He's a perfect dog for mum as he is small and isn't too lively; however the fluffy image is going to need alot of maintenance.