Lavatorial Humour

Mr Bath-plug sent me the following email:

Khim,

See if u can write better poems than these!!!!!!!!!

KBT




Subject: Fwd: Poems found in toilets




POEMS FOUND IN TOILETS


THE "FUTURE" IS IN YOUR HAND , HOLD IT GENTLY"

Excellent poems by not so famous poets... found on toilet doors and walls.......

A budding poet trying his best...
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote,
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it's true that people find inspiration in toilets.
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.


There are also people who come in for a different purpose...
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come
here to scratch my balls ,
And read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls also double as job advertisement space.......
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement.
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please

On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson...
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

Apparently, other parts of the bath-room has caught his attention.

So rising to his request

I shall try my best

About thoughts we all have when we are on the throne

Which I hope will not result in too many groans.

So here goes....

As I sit here reading my newspaper

About the accusation and his plight

I certainly hope he used a rubber during the caper

Or it will be Najib's delight

And Anwar would have to enjoy even more Turkish delight

Huh???!? 

Where's the shit!.... I hear you ask.

Well it's just that some are us are more cerebral and not so vulgar

We skipped through all the shit 

And went straight to the bugger!!